How Parents Can Support Their College-Aged Kids’ Mental Health Right Now
Sending your child off to college should be a moment for pride and reflection — not panic. But this year, college students are facing massive uncertainty as they prepare to begin classes. Some schools — Notre Dame and UNC, with more almost certainly to follow — that attempted to hold in-person classes have already switched to all-remote instruction after coronavirus outbreaks.
What’s worse, many of these students arrived on campus already suffering from increasing rates of anxiety and depression stemming from the pandemic. According to the CDC, one in four young adults ages 18 to 24 contemplated suicide during the month of June. Online searches for keywords related to school and mental health are also more than 4 times higher among college students than they were when the pandemic started. This increased need for support is coming at a time when college budgets are already strained. Some experts fear that schools will end up cutting mental health programs that students urgently need.
If you haven’t already talked to your college-aged kid about their mental health, now is the time. Working together, you can create a plan to support your child’s mental health throughout what will undoubtedly be a challenging year. Here are five things parents should know about supporting their college students right now:
1. Campus mental health may look very different this year. During the pandemic it may not be possible to drop by campus health to find a therapist. Help your child research in advance how to access mental health resources, even if you don’t think they’ll need it. Virtual mental health services like teletherapy are increasingly available. Fair warning, though: there might be a waitlist (PDF) for individualized therapy from universities.
2. Mental health challenges won’t be the same, either. College is always stressful, as students navigate new challenges like living on their own, juggling social lives and schoolwork, and preparing to enter the job market. College is also a time when many kids try alcohol and drugs. Close to 30% of college students binge-drink in a typical month, while about 6% use marijuana almost every day, and about 3% misuse opioids.
This year, students will also face new and urgent challenges related to the pandemic. It’s highly uncertain whether an academic year that begins with in-person instruction will continue that way. Many students may feel a delayed sense of mourning for milestones missed last spring, like high school graduation, or for the campus environment they’re returning to that’s now radically altered. Perhaps most stressful: normal social interactions come with serious risks. Typical college stressors will be compounded by 2020’s urgent crises, and typical college behaviors, like substance use, will be riskier at a time when students are already overwhelmed.
3. Proactive check-ins are crucial. Getting help for mental health struggles is daunting for anyone, let alone a young adult who may be living away from home for the first time. And once you’re overwhelmed, seeking help becomes even harder. Harvard students have written an open letter to university administration, warning that new students may not know how much stress is normal. They suggest the school set up regular, pro-active check-ins with students to identify students who need help. As a parent, you can and should do the same and enlist your child’s friends too.
4. Self-directed tools can help. There are dozens of apps and online programs aimed at providing mental health support, from chat or text-based therapy, to peer support groups, to meditation and mindfulness exercises. These kinds of tools can be very effective. Researchers have found, for example, that training in resiliency and emotional intelligence can significantly improve college students’ mental health.
Sit down with your child and talk through stressors they’re likely to struggle with and tools to help. Just make sure you steer your student towards apps that are evidence-based and will protect their privacy. This database is a great place to start.
5. There’s no substitute for a relationship with a live therapist. Even if your college-aged kid feels most comfortable with apps and tech-forward tools, establishing a relationship with a therapist is likely the best way to make sure they stick with their stress-reduction plans and get extra support when they need it. Because the pandemic has forced regulators to ease some rules around teletherapy, students aren’t limited by geography either. If they have a pre-existing relationship with a therapist at home, they can continue to work with that provider at school. If they find a counselor on campus, they can keep seeing that person even if the campus shuts down. Digitally native teletherapy, like that offered by my company Lucid Lane, is another option. Whichever path you choose, cultivate those relationships now as a backstop to the inevitable stressors around every corner.
The only thing that’s certain about the 2020–2021 academic year for college students is that nobody knows what it’s going to look like. Talk to your college-aged kid now about how they’re going to access mental health support if they need it. Making a proactive plan, and checking in regularly, will help ensure that they won’t end up feeling alone if this very strange year starts to feel overwhelming.
Visit us at Skyler Health, where we empower people to prevent and stop anxiety, pain, medication & substance dependence with professional, licensed, and vetted counselors that you can trust.
